Been out of touch with the world for awhile. Grieving, healing, crying, screaming, then crying some more. God, today is 5 weeks and the pain is still raw. You can leave the house and find yourself lost and never understanding how you made it to where you are parked. This new life is not what I want. I just want my old life back. Why? Over & over I ask how could this have happened to me. And I wonder what will become of me, the dog, the house, the farm ....everything. Am I meant to even remain here? What plans has God made where all I have is memories of the past and this introduction to being alone has no guide book. How does God expect me to figure it out - this really is not fair. There is no other path to explore except this one - a day at a time - sometimes you just stumble through the next hour wondering and worrying.
What is this life all about?
